Test Pattern #9

Breaking Bad (Season 4) - Season 4 has only solidified Breaking Bad's position as the best show on air. Walt and Jesse are locking horns again, but both afraid of Gus and the power he has over their lives. Hank is recovering from his injuries, but still able to get dangerously close to discovering the meth lab and producer. Skylar is actually pretty down with helping out with money-laundering; a welcome change from her bitchy persona of the last season. I really think this might be the best season yet. It started off with so much great tension, to the point that I was worried that it wouldn't be able to maintain that emotional height throughout the season. Basically, I was wrong...some episodes might be quieter, but it all pays off with the finale. I can't wait for next season already.

Louie (Season 2) - I don't really like stand-up, but something about Louie CK and all of his self-depreciation works for me. I enjoyed Season 1, but I think this past season was even better, and darker. Louie seems to be addressing topics that affect many working in the comedy business (aging with Joan Crawford, joke stealing with Dane Cook, selling out, etc). However, some of the highlight episodes center around surprising laughing because you are uncomfortable moments (the decapitation and the bum bath scored by classical music come to mind). Also, anything with his daughters is pretty much amazing...ONE DUCKLING!

Skins (UK) (Seasons 1-3) - I've been pretty vocal about my love of teenage drama in the past, so it was really only a matter of time before I would succumb to the lure of Skins. The first two season follow a group of 17 year-olds in Bristol. The center of the group is popular Tony. There are some virgins who need to get laid, a romance with a teacher, eating disorders, a love triangle, a stalker, a pregnancy, a death, excess drinking, and fucked up family lives all around. It's really only one step removed from a traditional soap opera, and takes some pretty ridiculous turns, but by the end of the second season, I couldn't help but feel emotional about Jal and Sid and all of their futures. Apparently Skins changes casts every two seasons to introduce a new group of friends. I'm only halfway through the "second generation" that centers around Tony's younger sister Effy. Effy is pretty, but far less charismatic than Tony. Also, this group of friends seems more unlikely than the first group and the main drama focuses on two boys fighting for Effy's affection. In addition, you have girls exploring their sexuality, twin rivalry, Asperger's, growing up sheltered with a super religious mother, a new immigrant from Congo, excessive fucking in nearly every permutation, etc.

Sopranos (Season 2-6) - It's a great show. I cried when several people died, and with the exception of one, I had seen all of those characters commit really awful crimes on-screen. It's powerful how much you get sucked into this world, and Tony's convoluted sense of how life should be lived. Edie Falco as Carmella and Michael Imperioli as Christopher are the main highlights in all of the series. Carmella can be a materialistic bitch, but she has so much inner turmoil that she is probably the most sympathetic. Christopher starts off as the go-to guy for offing enemies, but he morphs into something much more than a cold-blooded killer. The ending was frustrating for me, as I'm sure it was for most people watching it, but I appreciate that this show often defies convention both in story and format.

True Blood (Season 4) - While I would still never recommend this show to anyone, Season 4 was a serious step up from the last couple seasons. The new "supernatural" introduced this time around was all the witches, and I found them easier to go along with than maenads and even the werewolves (all though they are still around, and better in limited doses). Bill and Eric's rivalry over Sookie finally comes to an apex, and then gets really weird. Jessica and Hoyt finally split up, and Sam's brother is thankfully out of the picture. I was glad to see less Tara and more Pam. Whatever happened to that Werepanther storyline? Anyway, it's also possible that this show isn't really getting better, but rather that I am getting used to its bizarro twists and introductions.

Celluloid #129

In Theaters


Restless (2011) Van Sant - Harold and Maude-type boy falls for an Annie Hall-styled manic pixie girl. Annabelle has terminal cancer and only three months to live. Enoch is death-obsessed, as evidenced by his hobby of attending strangers' funerals and chatting with the ghost of a kamikaze. This movie is just off. The pacing is wrong. The outfits are too precious. The soundtrack is too twee. Even the montage of them getting to know each other is too disgustingly cute, and the dialogue too awkward. The only thing I really liked about this movie was the way it looked, and seeing Portland settings. 3/5

In Home


An American Werewolf in London (1981) Landis - David and his friend Jack are backpacking around England. In a northern town, they stop into a pub only to be greeted by strange, unfriendly people. After getting kicked out, they are attacked by a werewolf. Jack dies, but David survives in a coma for a few weeks. Unfortunately, his injuries mean that he will turn into a werewolf himself at the next full moon. The Ghost of Jack informs David that the only way to prevent this catastrophe is to kill himself. A young nurse takes David in, where they have a pretty sexy time, only making it harder for David to accept his fate. This film has actually dated pretty well. 4/5

Bad Teacher (2011) Kasdan - Cameron Diaz takes a turn as the crass female lead. After Elizabeth gets dumped by her rich fiancee, she is forced to return to her teaching job in order to pay for a boob job. Totally unsympathetic and never really manages to redeem herself. Her new co-worker (Justin Timberlake) comes from some old money - setting off a rivalry between Elizabeth and Ms. Squirrel for his affection. Nevermind that he is a huge dry-humping dork. Jason Segel is the secret love interest, but even he deserves better. Just not very funny or all that scandalous, but not exactly the worst. 2.5/5

Foxes (1980) Lyne - Not a lot happens, but instead we get a feel for late 1970s L.A. Drugs, parties, sex through the perspective of four teenage friends. One friend, Annie, has a particularly difficult time dealing with her abusive father, and making poor decisions that make her vulnerable to other men. Janie tries to look out for her other friends, and is the most responsible, probably because her major problems stem from a strained relationship with her single mother. All in all a pretty bleak portrait of life and options for ladies at that time. 3/5

Gremlins (1984) Dante - An inventor comes across a cute creature at a store in Chinatown and decides to get it as a Christmas present for his son. The rules are that it can't get wet and can't eat after midnight. Of course, these rules get broken, causing scary gremlins to take over the town. Most of the film after the set-up and gremlin incubation, is just the gremlins goofing around. They break things, get drunk, skateboard, etc. Maybe that's the appeal for kids, but it gets a little boring. 3/5

Nightmare on Elm Street (1984) Craven - Introduced the world to Freddy Krueger - a child-killer who was burned to death and now attacks young people through their dreams. This film has pretty cool special effects. It also introduced young Johnny Depp as a pretty chill boyfriend to our protagonist Nancy. No one believes her, so she is forced to take matters into her own hands by bringing Freddy out of her nightmare and into the present reality. 4/5

Poison Ivy (1992) Ruben - Drew Barrymore plays a bad girl who befriends a rich but awkward girl. Ivy essentially ends up moving in. The mother is dying of cancer and the father is a creepy alcoholic who finds lvy attractive. What started out as a rebellious friendship, soon morphs into a competition between the girls for the affection of the parents, with deadly results. Really great if you are in the mood for 90s-style erotic thrillers. 3.5/5

Celluloid #128

In Theaters

Drive (2011) Refn - Really stylish film where Ryan Gosling plays a nameless stunt car driver/getaway driver for hire. "The Kid" develops a relationship with his young neighbor and her son. When her husband returns from prison, the driver decides to help him reconcile his debt with a "one last job" situation. Technically this is an action film, all though it can be quite deliberately slow-paced, which only serves to ratchet up the tension. While Gosling's character seems a bit of a Christ-archetype, he also represents the scorpion in the famous fable. A complicated hero, but really the strength of this film is the soundtrack, aesthetic, and attitude. 4.5/5

In Home

Martin (1977) Romero - A weirdo teenager thinks he may be a modern-day vampire. He satisfies his bloodlust by drugging young women, raping them, then cutting them with razor blades and drinking their blood. Then a local housewife takes interest in him and they start an affair. For a time, the presence of these fairly normal sexual encounters curbs his need to commit violence. 3/5

the Ruins (2008) Smith - Last summer, my book club read the book that serves as the basis for this film. Both are very silly tales of four friends on vacation in Mexico that encounter some very bad luck on a hike. Out near some Mayan ruins, a sinister vine grows that can kill and even psychologically torment people. The natives will also kill anyone who tries to leave for fear that the vine will spread. Besides the ridiculous premise of killer plants, this film is really gory, relying on squeamish shots to elicit reactions. 2/5

Celluloid #127

In Theaters

Circumstance (2011) Keshavarz - Admittedly I do not know enough about Iranian politics or what the Revolution was really about. One outcome that seems certain is that the culture has become increasingly conservative and restrictive - as evidenced by the presence of "morality police." Two high school girls are very close friends, who develop deep feelings for one another that leads to sexual experimentation. They also like to have fun drinking and dancing in clubs, but after getting in trouble, Atie's religious fanatic brother offers Shireen (an orphan) a way out of punishment by marrying him. You can imagine the complications... 4/5

the Interrupters (2011) James - Documentary about the incredibly high homicide rate in Chicago. Most of the violence is not gang-related, but rather interpersonal disputes over seemingly petty things. These initial disputes lead to a long chain of revenge killings, and the targets seem to be getter younger and younger. The "Interrupters" are a group of former gang members and street hustlers that have decided to turn their lives around, and to also do something about preventing or stopping deaths. Ameena, one of the Interrupters, is such an commanding on-screen presence. An appropriate companion piece to James' other documentary Hoop Dreams. 4/5

In Home

From Dusk Till Dawn (1996) Rodriguez - Silly 90s movie that starts out as brother thieves taking a family hostage to escape to Mexico. However, when they arrive at a sleazy club across the border, the vampires start appearing. Most of what happens after that point is a series of ridiculous or gruesome ways to kill a vampire. It's like Tarantino just wrote anything he could think up. Also, so bizarre, but kinda cool that George Clooney is the lead in this B+ film. 3.5/5

Poltergeist (1982) Hooper - A strange paranormal presence is coming from the television or lightning. It causes inanimate objects to move. The tree outside tries to eat one of the children, and another goes missing during a storm. Carol Anne has apparently been sucked into another realm through the television, but can still be heard inside the house. The family has to hire a couple of mediums, and the mom has to go to the other side to get her daughter back. Number one lesson, don't live on top of cemeteries. 4/5

the Thing (1982) Carpenter - A crew of scientists are stationed in Antarctica. Strange things begin happening to a Norwegian crew and one the dogs morphs into a creepy alien creature. Thus creature has the ability to look like any living person or animal it comes into contact with - making it very difficult to be sure of the crew's identities. This film delivers on the physical/visceral end, while providing enough tension and questioning for your brain. 4.5/5

the Wicker Man (1973) Hardy - A girl has gone missing from some remote Scottish islands. The island people all practice some kind of paganism, and all sorts of weird naked hippie things happen. A detective from the mainland comes to investigate the missing girl, and he is a very devout Christian scandalized by the events he sees taking place. This movie is really not scary at all, hasn't dated very well, and includes a Burning Man scene. 3/5

Celluloid #126

Going on a horror binge for the next couple months...

In Home

Carrie (1976) De Palma - So good! Misfit teenager is warped by her religious nut mother. She gets picked on in school for being strange (not to mention telekinetic) and for freaking out about getting her period in the gym shower. Some girls get in trouble for the gym incident and threatened with exclusion from the Prom. One girl has a conscience and convinces her boyfriend to take Carrie to the dance, so that she can have some type of normal experience. However, some of the other girls treat this as an opportunity to play an awful prank. This is a great extreme portrayal of the already horrifying process of adolescence, and mean girls receiving their revenge. 5/5

Children of the Corn (1984) Kiersch - A couple is driving across Nebraska to relocate when they hit a strange boy on the roads surrounded by cornfields. Upon further inspection, they realize that he was already dead due to a slashed throat. They are forced to stop in Gatlin; a small, extremely religious town. Not very populated to begin with, it's even eerier because there are no adults. They've all been killed by a group of culty kids who even sentence their own to death on their 19th birthdays. Campy effects and generally enjoyable creepy story. 4/5

Dawn of the Dead (1978) Romero - Four people get trapped in a mall with zombies. I find both of those things pretty horrifying, and their combination pretty awesome. 4/5

Halloween (1978) Carpenter - The slasher film that created the tropes for all films to follow. Laurie is a brainy teenager who doesn't have much luck with guys. Her two friends, Annie and Linda are sluttier. On Halloween night, Laurie and Annie find themselves babysitting, all though Annie also has plans to hook up with her boyfriend. Meanwhile, the local myth, Michael Myers, has escaped from the mental institute he was locked in 15 years earlier after killing his own babysitter....4.5/5

Onibaba (1966) Shindo - A lady and her daughter-in-law survive war-torn Japan by killing samurais and trading their bodies for grain. Then the son/husband's neighbor returns from war and informs the ladies that their man is dead. The daughter begins an affair with the neighbor. The mother tries to stop them by warning about Hell and demons as punishment for sin. The mother meets a samurai with a demon mask. When he dies, she puts the mask on to really scare the daughter. This movie is really cool looking and totally frantic at times. 4.5/5

Celluloid #125

In Theaters

the Rise of the Planet of the Apes (2011) Wyatt - I have never seen any of the "Planet of the Apes" films, but found this one to be entertaining blockbuster fare. Will is a scientist working with chimpanzees to develop a cure for Alzheimer's. The side effect is that the chimps become really intelligent. Funding gets shut down, and Will takes a hidden baby chimp home with him. The baby's mother was one of the test subjects and he inherited the effect. Caesar reminds me so much of Nim from Project Nim, and in a way, their storylines are quite similar Caesar too has to spend some time in a caged center where he becomes increasingly discontent. 3.5/5

In Home

Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead (1991) Herek - When Mom leaves for vacation, 17 year-old Sue Ellen and her younger siblings are left with an elderly babysitter. As the title indicates, she dies early on and the kids decide to fend for themselves rather than call their mom and risk her coming back early. They quickly run out of money and trash the house ("the dishes are done man!"), so Sue Ellen has to get a job. She lands an unbelievable position at a fashion company by lying about her experience. This movie is zany, so 90s, and includes an early David Duchovny. 3.5/5

My Blueberry Nights (2007) Wong - This movie could easily be used as an example of how we often give a pass to films or even idealize them because they are foreign (I often fall prey to this). In reality, the story and aesthetic of this film is not very different from other Wong Kar Wai films, but somehow seeing English-speaking characters makes the dialogue seem cheesy. Elizabeth gets dumped and makes a friend at her local cafe, but shortly leaves town. First to Memphis and then later to Vegas. She meets two characters - an alcoholic who can't get over his wife leaving him and a gambler with daddy issues. I'm not really sure what the point of these characters is, other than to show Elizabeth that her life is far from being a tragedy. 3/5

2 or 3 Things I Know About Her (1967) Godard - Godard is in one of his more absurd moods. The ladies in the film talk directly to the camera, and our main protagonist works as a prostitute sometimes. Other than that, I watched this a little over a week ago, and nothing much has stuck with me. 3/5

Celluloid #124

In Theaters

Project Nim (2011) Marsh - Normally, I wouldn't have all that much interest in a documentary about a monkey, but this one is by James Marsh, the man who brought you the tear-jerking Man on Wire. This film is nowhere near as great, but still a worthwhile time. It starts in the early 1970s, when Nim Chimpsky is taken away from his biological mother and sent to live with a rich hippie family in Manhattan. Initially, he is raised much like a child and is taught sign language in order to communicate. After several years, this linguistics experiment is determined to be a failure, namely because Nim's internal chimp behaviors keep coming to the surface; the last straw being when he bites the cheek off of one of the teachers. He is sent back to the research facility that he was born in. Despite the tragedy (the scientists should have either never taken him, or committed to keep him in some sort of domestic human environment), this is really a movie about human nature. So many people in this film hook up, and some people even emerge as saviors. 4/5

Tabloid (2011) Morris - A really entertaining look at a huge character. Joyce McKinney started her path to fame through beauty pageants, but becomes notorious for a plot she carried out to "rescue" her boyfriend from the Mormons by kidnapping him for a 3-day sex binge. He's actually in England for his mission, but the "truth" of what exactly went down is never revealed. During her tabloid fame, Joyce goes through a period of exile and costumes after a stint in jail. There are also salacious pictures that emerge, further tarnishing her reputation. AND if the first brush with fame wasn't enough, Joyce gets another 15 minutes decades later when she has her dog cloned. Totally engrossing. 4/5

In Home

Just One of the Guys (1985) Gottlieb - Terry feels she is being cheated out of a journalism internship because she is a girl. To prove her point, she transfers to another school (for a week?) and present herself as a boy. She quickly falls in love with another boy that she befriends and tries to help get a date to prom. Terry finds herself lying to her new friend, and also to her preppy boyfriend, and realizing that maybe her snub had nothing to do with her gender. 3/5

Pink Flamingos (1972) Waters - Classic John Waters - at its core, this is a story about two warring factions competing for the title of "filthiest person alive." Divine's family lives in a trailer where her son engages in sexual acts often incorporating animals, and her mother hangs out in a playpen forever eating eggs. Connie and Ray believe they are the filthiest because they run a "baby farm" where they kidnap ladies, have their servant impregnate them, and get the babies adopted by lesbian couples. Gross and outrageous, but would you expect anything different? 3.5/5

Road House (1989) Herrington - Dalton is a renowned "cooler" known for getting bars into shape, but also rumored to have killed a man. He gets hired to perform his services for a rowdy bar, and after so many jokes about how people thought "he would have been bigger", he finally starts cleaning things up. Unfortunately, he also quickly makes enemies by firing some key staff and ultimately pissing off the wealthy man who has the entire town under his thumb. It doesn't help that Dalton also falls for that guy's ex. Lots of fighting, fires, explosions. It was kinda nice to see a fun action film for a change. 3.5/5