Celluloid #129

In Theaters


Restless (2011) Van Sant - Harold and Maude-type boy falls for an Annie Hall-styled manic pixie girl. Annabelle has terminal cancer and only three months to live. Enoch is death-obsessed, as evidenced by his hobby of attending strangers' funerals and chatting with the ghost of a kamikaze. This movie is just off. The pacing is wrong. The outfits are too precious. The soundtrack is too twee. Even the montage of them getting to know each other is too disgustingly cute, and the dialogue too awkward. The only thing I really liked about this movie was the way it looked, and seeing Portland settings. 3/5

In Home


An American Werewolf in London (1981) Landis - David and his friend Jack are backpacking around England. In a northern town, they stop into a pub only to be greeted by strange, unfriendly people. After getting kicked out, they are attacked by a werewolf. Jack dies, but David survives in a coma for a few weeks. Unfortunately, his injuries mean that he will turn into a werewolf himself at the next full moon. The Ghost of Jack informs David that the only way to prevent this catastrophe is to kill himself. A young nurse takes David in, where they have a pretty sexy time, only making it harder for David to accept his fate. This film has actually dated pretty well. 4/5

Bad Teacher (2011) Kasdan - Cameron Diaz takes a turn as the crass female lead. After Elizabeth gets dumped by her rich fiancee, she is forced to return to her teaching job in order to pay for a boob job. Totally unsympathetic and never really manages to redeem herself. Her new co-worker (Justin Timberlake) comes from some old money - setting off a rivalry between Elizabeth and Ms. Squirrel for his affection. Nevermind that he is a huge dry-humping dork. Jason Segel is the secret love interest, but even he deserves better. Just not very funny or all that scandalous, but not exactly the worst. 2.5/5

Foxes (1980) Lyne - Not a lot happens, but instead we get a feel for late 1970s L.A. Drugs, parties, sex through the perspective of four teenage friends. One friend, Annie, has a particularly difficult time dealing with her abusive father, and making poor decisions that make her vulnerable to other men. Janie tries to look out for her other friends, and is the most responsible, probably because her major problems stem from a strained relationship with her single mother. All in all a pretty bleak portrait of life and options for ladies at that time. 3/5

Gremlins (1984) Dante - An inventor comes across a cute creature at a store in Chinatown and decides to get it as a Christmas present for his son. The rules are that it can't get wet and can't eat after midnight. Of course, these rules get broken, causing scary gremlins to take over the town. Most of the film after the set-up and gremlin incubation, is just the gremlins goofing around. They break things, get drunk, skateboard, etc. Maybe that's the appeal for kids, but it gets a little boring. 3/5

Nightmare on Elm Street (1984) Craven - Introduced the world to Freddy Krueger - a child-killer who was burned to death and now attacks young people through their dreams. This film has pretty cool special effects. It also introduced young Johnny Depp as a pretty chill boyfriend to our protagonist Nancy. No one believes her, so she is forced to take matters into her own hands by bringing Freddy out of her nightmare and into the present reality. 4/5

Poison Ivy (1992) Ruben - Drew Barrymore plays a bad girl who befriends a rich but awkward girl. Ivy essentially ends up moving in. The mother is dying of cancer and the father is a creepy alcoholic who finds lvy attractive. What started out as a rebellious friendship, soon morphs into a competition between the girls for the affection of the parents, with deadly results. Really great if you are in the mood for 90s-style erotic thrillers. 3.5/5

Celluloid #128

In Theaters

Drive (2011) Refn - Really stylish film where Ryan Gosling plays a nameless stunt car driver/getaway driver for hire. "The Kid" develops a relationship with his young neighbor and her son. When her husband returns from prison, the driver decides to help him reconcile his debt with a "one last job" situation. Technically this is an action film, all though it can be quite deliberately slow-paced, which only serves to ratchet up the tension. While Gosling's character seems a bit of a Christ-archetype, he also represents the scorpion in the famous fable. A complicated hero, but really the strength of this film is the soundtrack, aesthetic, and attitude. 4.5/5

In Home

Martin (1977) Romero - A weirdo teenager thinks he may be a modern-day vampire. He satisfies his bloodlust by drugging young women, raping them, then cutting them with razor blades and drinking their blood. Then a local housewife takes interest in him and they start an affair. For a time, the presence of these fairly normal sexual encounters curbs his need to commit violence. 3/5

the Ruins (2008) Smith - Last summer, my book club read the book that serves as the basis for this film. Both are very silly tales of four friends on vacation in Mexico that encounter some very bad luck on a hike. Out near some Mayan ruins, a sinister vine grows that can kill and even psychologically torment people. The natives will also kill anyone who tries to leave for fear that the vine will spread. Besides the ridiculous premise of killer plants, this film is really gory, relying on squeamish shots to elicit reactions. 2/5

Celluloid #127

In Theaters

Circumstance (2011) Keshavarz - Admittedly I do not know enough about Iranian politics or what the Revolution was really about. One outcome that seems certain is that the culture has become increasingly conservative and restrictive - as evidenced by the presence of "morality police." Two high school girls are very close friends, who develop deep feelings for one another that leads to sexual experimentation. They also like to have fun drinking and dancing in clubs, but after getting in trouble, Atie's religious fanatic brother offers Shireen (an orphan) a way out of punishment by marrying him. You can imagine the complications... 4/5

the Interrupters (2011) James - Documentary about the incredibly high homicide rate in Chicago. Most of the violence is not gang-related, but rather interpersonal disputes over seemingly petty things. These initial disputes lead to a long chain of revenge killings, and the targets seem to be getter younger and younger. The "Interrupters" are a group of former gang members and street hustlers that have decided to turn their lives around, and to also do something about preventing or stopping deaths. Ameena, one of the Interrupters, is such an commanding on-screen presence. An appropriate companion piece to James' other documentary Hoop Dreams. 4/5

In Home

From Dusk Till Dawn (1996) Rodriguez - Silly 90s movie that starts out as brother thieves taking a family hostage to escape to Mexico. However, when they arrive at a sleazy club across the border, the vampires start appearing. Most of what happens after that point is a series of ridiculous or gruesome ways to kill a vampire. It's like Tarantino just wrote anything he could think up. Also, so bizarre, but kinda cool that George Clooney is the lead in this B+ film. 3.5/5

Poltergeist (1982) Hooper - A strange paranormal presence is coming from the television or lightning. It causes inanimate objects to move. The tree outside tries to eat one of the children, and another goes missing during a storm. Carol Anne has apparently been sucked into another realm through the television, but can still be heard inside the house. The family has to hire a couple of mediums, and the mom has to go to the other side to get her daughter back. Number one lesson, don't live on top of cemeteries. 4/5

the Thing (1982) Carpenter - A crew of scientists are stationed in Antarctica. Strange things begin happening to a Norwegian crew and one the dogs morphs into a creepy alien creature. Thus creature has the ability to look like any living person or animal it comes into contact with - making it very difficult to be sure of the crew's identities. This film delivers on the physical/visceral end, while providing enough tension and questioning for your brain. 4.5/5

the Wicker Man (1973) Hardy - A girl has gone missing from some remote Scottish islands. The island people all practice some kind of paganism, and all sorts of weird naked hippie things happen. A detective from the mainland comes to investigate the missing girl, and he is a very devout Christian scandalized by the events he sees taking place. This movie is really not scary at all, hasn't dated very well, and includes a Burning Man scene. 3/5

Celluloid #126

Going on a horror binge for the next couple months...

In Home

Carrie (1976) De Palma - So good! Misfit teenager is warped by her religious nut mother. She gets picked on in school for being strange (not to mention telekinetic) and for freaking out about getting her period in the gym shower. Some girls get in trouble for the gym incident and threatened with exclusion from the Prom. One girl has a conscience and convinces her boyfriend to take Carrie to the dance, so that she can have some type of normal experience. However, some of the other girls treat this as an opportunity to play an awful prank. This is a great extreme portrayal of the already horrifying process of adolescence, and mean girls receiving their revenge. 5/5

Children of the Corn (1984) Kiersch - A couple is driving across Nebraska to relocate when they hit a strange boy on the roads surrounded by cornfields. Upon further inspection, they realize that he was already dead due to a slashed throat. They are forced to stop in Gatlin; a small, extremely religious town. Not very populated to begin with, it's even eerier because there are no adults. They've all been killed by a group of culty kids who even sentence their own to death on their 19th birthdays. Campy effects and generally enjoyable creepy story. 4/5

Dawn of the Dead (1978) Romero - Four people get trapped in a mall with zombies. I find both of those things pretty horrifying, and their combination pretty awesome. 4/5

Halloween (1978) Carpenter - The slasher film that created the tropes for all films to follow. Laurie is a brainy teenager who doesn't have much luck with guys. Her two friends, Annie and Linda are sluttier. On Halloween night, Laurie and Annie find themselves babysitting, all though Annie also has plans to hook up with her boyfriend. Meanwhile, the local myth, Michael Myers, has escaped from the mental institute he was locked in 15 years earlier after killing his own babysitter....4.5/5

Onibaba (1966) Shindo - A lady and her daughter-in-law survive war-torn Japan by killing samurais and trading their bodies for grain. Then the son/husband's neighbor returns from war and informs the ladies that their man is dead. The daughter begins an affair with the neighbor. The mother tries to stop them by warning about Hell and demons as punishment for sin. The mother meets a samurai with a demon mask. When he dies, she puts the mask on to really scare the daughter. This movie is really cool looking and totally frantic at times. 4.5/5